Real Self-Care

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‘A bracingly honest, galvanising and necessarily provocative look at “self-care” through a political and feminist lens’ Pandora Sykes

‘This isn’t just another self-help book. A clear-eyed look at the way social systems drain our energy, and a concrete set of principles to rely on as we declare independence from these systems’ Martha Beck

‘A helpful and timely book that every woman needs’ Julia Samuel

What does self-care really mean? From puppy yoga to gua shas, we are promised pastel-coloured ‘quick fixes’ to long-term social problems that cause burnout and stress. But the truth is you can’t meditate your way out of a 40-hour work week with no childcare. So when these promises prove empty, we are made to feel like failures within a system that is failing us.

Now, psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin offers a sustainable practice for real self-care. Based on her clinical and personal experience, Dr Lakshmin’s revolutionary framework reimagines self-care as an ongoing, internal process that involves making difficult decisions in line with your values, putting boundaries in place, treating yourself with compassion and asserting your power. Practising it has the power to change your relationships, your workplace, and our broken systems. Her work serves as a wake-up call, reminding us that wellbeing is not a product to buy, but a way to be.

It is time to let go of the illusions of wellness and start practising real self-care. Because the result – having ownership over your life – is nothing less than a personal and social revolution.

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin (Cornerstone) (22 February 2024)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1847943721
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1847943729
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 199 g
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13 x 1.7 x 19.8 cm
Country of Origin ‏ : ‎ India

Reviewer: .
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Great!

Reviewer: Sarah K Peck
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: I first met Dr. Pooja Lakshmin when I saw her article about burnout and betrayal (the Primal Scream in the New York Times). A lightbulb went off when I realized that I was internalizing so much about how I wasn’t able to do it all as a mother, wife, business owner, writer, and person in the world. Between having two young kids in the pandemic and trying to start my own business, I was exhausted, sometimes frozen, angry, and often in tears.Ever since, I’ve followed her writing and work on instagram, where she shares wisdom around women’s mental health from a psychology perspective. Honestly, I feel RELIEF when I read what she’s writing! This book has been a brilliant follow-up to her work across the web. Being burned out and feeling betrayed by broken systems is real. But what do you DO about it? Is there any antidote or solution?It turns out, if you’re wishing for a vacation or you’re fantasizing about escape… well, that’s a sign that your current life is likely burning you out. Instead of buying the next fancy retreat or spa package (those are delightful, don’t get me wrong!)—she recommends you start with her four-part framework.Pooja writes about where our individual agency comes in: what can we do about this, and what’s within our control? This is the delicate dance of self care.She also shares the history of self-care and where the idea comes from (it was a mental health term often for institutionalized folks, and it was revolutionized by Black women in different movements before it’s been co-opted today as a thing that you can purchase, buy, or sell). I appreciate this full history.I got a chance to review an early copy of this book (I’m a podcaster, and I interviewed her for my show)—and I also purchased my own copy of this book. Here’s what I got from the book:So how do we do self-care in an overwhelming world? Her framework brings alignment between your values and what you can do, and highlights where you might be misaligned. I’ll share a few sneak peeks without giving it all away:1 — How to know what’s yours, how to create space between you and the people you care about, how to define what belongs to someone else (guess what word she uses for this first step?)2 — How to develop a new relationship with your mind (her insights on A&C therapy and how she describes psychological flexibility I found so cool). This is a more advanced psychological concept and I appreciate the depth here; it’s not superficial.3 — How to identify what really matters to YOU, what brings you energy. She has a specific tool called the self-care compass which is a great framework (and I like having it next to my desk at work).4 — How to regain power and agency. For me, regaining your sense of control is HUGE in self-care, and she explains where and how you can claim your power.For women especially, but also men need this too (boundary work is HARD for all). Also, her opening story about joining a cult? Riveting.Buy this book, it’s well-written, easy to read, and important to act on.

Reviewer: X. Lee
Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars
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Review:  

Reviewer: BDH
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Real Self-Care by Pooja Laxmin is a refreshing take on self-help books that are often too generic or preachy. As someone who usually avoids such books, I was pleasantly surprised by the clarity, honesty, and practicality of this one.One of the strengths of Real Self-Care is that it doesn’t pretend to have all the answers or to be a one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, Pooja Laxmin acknowledges the complexity of self-care and the different challenges that women (and men) face in taking care of their mental health. She also distinguishes between real self-care, which involves intentional and sustainable practices that enhance one’s well-being, and faux self-care, which can be superficial, temporary, or even harmful.The book is structured in a way that makes it easy to follow and apply the advice. Each chapter covers a specific aspect of real self-care, such as setting boundaries, managing stress, practicing gratitude, and cultivating self-compassion. Within each chapter, Pooja Laxmin offers clear explanations, relevant examples, and practical tips, often backed up by research and her own clinical experience. The language is accessible and engaging, without being overly simplistic or patronizing.What I appreciated most about Real Self-Care is the emphasis on seeking professional help when needed and the guidance on how to do so effectively. Pooja Laxmin acknowledges that self-care is not always enough and that some mental health issues require the expertise and support of trained professionals. She also provides a helpful checklist of what to look for in a therapist or counselor, including credentials, specialties, and personal fit.Overall, Real Self-Care is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to improve their mental health and well-being in a realistic and compassionate way. While it may resonate more with women, I believe that men can also benefit from the insights and strategies offered in the book. Whether you’re a seasoned self-helper or a skeptic like me, give Real Self-Care a chance and see how it can make a difference in your life.

Reviewer: Birdie
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Very informative and practical

4.5

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